I’m just… like I keep disappointing my💢FUCKING💢self and it became a real nuisance for my mental health. Like why can I just be structured and keep up with my agenda at least for a week??
*sigh* *deep breath* 💨💨💨
I am frustrated on how I can act and on how I treat my time and my talent, my belongings, I treat almost everything poorly. I pay $20 a month to have this fucking website and NO! I am not sorry for swearing so much on this blog post because swearing feel goods release the anxiety! ! !
I got myself an agenda last month ago to keep myself organize and it did actually worked but like a week later, I lost my blue💙 pen (SH0CK3R❗😱) and my ??relationship?? with this guy was going really really bad due to all the anxiety and the toxic vibes that he was giving me because of his issues on his side.
It went really nasty that I had to physically fight him for an whole evening and it was relieving at first for the hour but after that I was just really protecting myself. Nobody knows about this situation, not my blood family, not friends, no one at my internship, not even my supper good friend (can’t call her bestie cuz reasons ). It was a baaaaaaad night, like, stupid bad.
I was my good friend birthday 17 days ago, we had a huge photoshoot and it was really fun except that I was the fat friend and could kinda ~hear👂🏾~ it from her other friends or whateva, but still I was wasteeeeddddd🍹🍹🍹 and I was sooooo cool, I need to get drunk because, I just simply needed it, that’s it!
Tomorrow, I have an exhibition🖼 to which I applied all on my own and I was chosen, I seriously did not expect that lol and I will be able to sell💲 my art and sell prints (if I have the time to go and get them printed with my supervisor!)
And to finish on a more positive note, I’ll be posting once or twice a week on 📱 & 💻. Yes, I put it in the agenda📑 and on my wall of to do list, same will go for my youtube channel📽, I will not ”keep trying my best meuueuhuhuhuheueueueue” I will actually do it, because I know I am meant for really big things, gotta work hard for peep!
This is SSO! 🎐💙☁💦✨